Come all ye pumpkin heads

Well, it's that time of the year again. The Great Pumpkin approaches with his bag of toys as he flies across the most sincere of all pumpkin patches. In his honor, I carved up a couple of pumpkins. Leave your triangle eyes and snaggle-tooth smiles at home--this was the year of the tableau scene.

First to be carved was my Indiana Jones pumpkin. In this stunning rendition, we see Indiana Jones crouching down in order to retrieve a fabulous jewel. But watch out behind--a mummy looms on the back of the pumpkin. (I'm having to explain this because Baba thought the pumpkin was indecipherable and interpreted in a highly original and inaccurate fashion. Maybe I should call this my Rorschach Pumpkin.)



Next came The Executioner Pumpkin. I'm very partial to this particular young man, who seems so ready and willing to lop off a head at my command. The entryway to his dungeon is carved on the back of the pumpkin.


Spooky, yet delightfully artistic, no?

Where in the world is Lauren Sandiego?

So the public has spoken, and this Exclusive Reclusive intends to respond. I've been abroad, or at least to Wisconsin and North Carolina, and I have the photographic evidence to prove it.

First off, I drove my friend's car, which has no driver's side mirror, through downtown Chicago. I discovered that Chicago drivers are testy and use their horns a lot. I'm sure this had nothing to do with my erratic and uninformed lane changes.


Eventually we arrived in Spring Green (pop. 643) in southwest Wisconsin. Somehow, when you're in Wisconsin, you just know.


The main attraction in Spring Green is The House on the Rock. Unfortunately, the house is nearly impossible to photograph. (And trust me, I have 200 failed photographic attempts to prove it.) The place is just too huge and too bizarre. It's a sixteen building (not room, but building) mansion that features a whale the size of the statue of liberty, a city block from the 1900s, over a dozen automated orchestras, the world's largest carousel, and about six "pipe organs" that have tortuous pipes stretching throughout seven stories. These are just a few of the oddities that are impossible to describe and even more difficult to capture. You'd just have to see it to believe it.

Easier to describe and photograph was the nearby Cave of the Blue Mounds. It was a friendly, damp little cave that came complete with "cave kisses." When you get a big waterdrop full of cave sediment dripping on you, you can consider yourself kissed.


In the end, Wisconsin was a fabulous time. I was delighted by it's stunning array of cheese and beer, and thus resolved to return.

And in May, I did! Hello Milwaukee! The funny winged building below is the art museum, and you can see downtown Milwaukee in the background. The place is gorgeous, the lake was gorgeous, and I do believe even I was gorgeous.


Ostensibly, my supervisor and I went there for some additional ultrasound training. We managed to do a bit more than that though. We saw the Dead Sea Scrolls at the Milwaukee Public Museum, toured the Pabst Mansion (the house that beer built), went to a funny little bar called The Safe House (which you access by means of a back alley and get to via a series of secret passages), and visited their impressive botanical gardens, of which there are actually three but I could only get two in at a time.


Yet again, I was impressed by Milwaukee's stellar array of grilled cheese sandwiches and of course their endless supply of Pabst Blue Ribbon. There was also some kick-ass local beers made by the New Glarus Brewing Company. May I recommend a Spotted Cow? Prefer something heavier--try Moon Man. If you're feeling more mainstream, walk down to Waukesha's House of Guiness. Did I mention that Milwaukee is a Miller town? What? What did you say? Ultrasound? What did I learn? *hiccup*

The weekend following my Milwaukee adventure, I hit the road again. Destination: Biltmore in Asheville, NC. What can I say? You've seen the place. Yeah, it was pretty.


Yes, the grounds, gardens and conservatory were lovely.


But at the end of the day, it is what it is. I can appreciate that it is an amazingly beautiful place, but at the same time it lacked the culture and refinement inherent in an ice cold bottle of PBR. Still, if you are so inclined to go back, I highly recommend the highly-overpriced rooftop tour.



I'm back home now, spending my evenings studying for my breast ultrasound boards. You know, that subject I was supposed to learn something about somewhere along the way. Oh well.

I suddenly have a Chevy for sale.

We caught a truck in our front yard! Yay! Remember, possession is 90% of ownership.

It's less calories this way...

Bab says this is the year of the pie crust, but thus far her energies have been devoted to her patented scones with cinnamon smear. For those of you playing along at home, these scones were constructed using a biscuit cutter and nestled delectably within a 9" round pan. Check them out.

How does this hit you?

I've recently been told that my artwork is affecting the dream patterns of those who are lucky enough to have seen said works. In an effort to gauge just how powerful I am, I've begun to create images with the direct intention of tapping into the unconscious. Today's effort: the marriage of Frangelico to Mrs. Butterworth. Tell me if this disturbs you in your sleep later.


I expect that as my popularity as an artist grows, my visionary creations will start to affect even those masses who have not been exposed to such pixelated greatness. Why all of this arrogance you ask? Well, I've been hobnobbing with celebrities, haven't I? Check it out--I'm all buddy-buddy with Barbie. (And yes, if you were wondering, those are Carhartts that I'm wearing.)

I got a new toy that Blaise will probably love. (Blaise, I'm willing to share, but you can't steal it like you stole my rubber ducky!) The below film is rated 'G,' but it didn't have to be. When the puppy runs up against stationary objects, he tends to engage in activities that look a little more 'X' rated. Just use your imagination.