How does this hit you?

I've recently been told that my artwork is affecting the dream patterns of those who are lucky enough to have seen said works. In an effort to gauge just how powerful I am, I've begun to create images with the direct intention of tapping into the unconscious. Today's effort: the marriage of Frangelico to Mrs. Butterworth. Tell me if this disturbs you in your sleep later.


I expect that as my popularity as an artist grows, my visionary creations will start to affect even those masses who have not been exposed to such pixelated greatness. Why all of this arrogance you ask? Well, I've been hobnobbing with celebrities, haven't I? Check it out--I'm all buddy-buddy with Barbie. (And yes, if you were wondering, those are Carhartts that I'm wearing.)

I got a new toy that Blaise will probably love. (Blaise, I'm willing to share, but you can't steal it like you stole my rubber ducky!) The below film is rated 'G,' but it didn't have to be. When the puppy runs up against stationary objects, he tends to engage in activities that look a little more 'X' rated. Just use your imagination.

The 2009 Halloween Effort

I'm not sure whether we're having our carving contest this year at the office or not, so I made a new prize winning pumpkin just in case. I thought that the Dremel would make carving a piece of cake this year, but I didn't end up using it that much. It still took a detail saw to get things just right. Still, it went a little faster than last year--this pumpkin only took about 2.5 hours instead of the roughly 3.5 hours for my spider from last year. Blaise should love this one. The front looks like this:


The back looks like this:


When it's all lit up, it looks like this:

Well, shucks. I just watched the video, and with the sub-par resolution you can't see the little ghosts dancing on the fireplace behind the pumpkin. (I swear, you can see it when you watch it on my camera...) Too bad. Trust me, it looks really cute.

The Most Fun You Can Have with 4 Wheels

Hey, long time no post! Sorry, but there's been lots to do and see.

Last weekend I went up to Kalamazoo for the Naptown Roller Girls' away game. I'd post pictures of Kalamazoo and such, but I didn't take any! Either my friend and I never found the main drag in Kalamazoo, or that place is absolutely dead. (I'm thinking the latter is correct.)

On the way to Kalamazoo, my friend and I noticed the copious billboards for Auburn, IN. The advertisements looked so enticing that we decided to go on Tuesday. We were not disappointed. Auburn is the self-proclaimed classic car capital of the world, largely owing to its history of Cord and Dusenburg car manufacturing. Below is Elvis' car from the movie "Spinout." One suspects that the car is more memorable than the movie itself.


Auburn is also home to the WWII Victory museum, which featured about a billion tanks, staff cars, lorries, jeeps, and motorcycles. Mysteriously, it also featured a TV museum with an amusing array of TV remote control cables.


The same building also houses Kruse Carriage and Automobile Museum. Who knew that Batman parked it in Indy?


And why shouldn't he? We also have the General Lee AND K.I.T.T. (Inexplicably, I forgot to take a picture of the A-Team van, but it was there too.)

Watch Out! Here comes the bleach bomb!

I swore I would never let this happen again. Why wasn't someone here to stop me?


This momentarily seemed like a good idea. Once the bleach vapors left the air and the terrible concoction had been rinsed away, however, this particular shade just didn't seem very professional anymore. When will I ever learn?

The Tide is High

Roll up your pants and prepare to get your feet wet. It's flood time!


Turns out that when you don't listen to the weather, everything becomes unpredictable and mysterious. Who knew the yard would flood today? From about 8 AM to 2 PM we picked up about 4 inches of rain. As a result this made the ground as soft and moist as a rich chocolate cake. Unlike a cake, however, it all smelled very fishy. (Sorry, my photographs just couldn't capture that aspect of today's meteorological wonder.)

The water approached within 8 feet of the door to the basement, at which point Babushka and I decided to develop a new skill: sandbagging!


Cute but effective, just like us. Babushka was upset about having to use her pretty pillowcases for such a purpose; I was upset about having to spend my day off making sandbags at all. When all was said and done, the length of the ditch looked something like this:


Thankfully, the water never quite made it up to our door, but still fears, doubts, and one question remains--where does all of this water come from? It seems impossible to believe that so much water can so simply fall from the sky. Certainly, it must come from some place else. With that in mind, I followed the ditch from the side of the house to the front and on eastward until I reached the mystical spring from which all the waters seemed to flow: the sewer.

Now you know.

It goes with my black Schwinn...

Half the battle in finding the answers to your burning questions is in knowing what questions to ask in the first place. Time and time again, I hear the mistakenly formulated question, "Who really needs chaps?" This is not the question. The question should be, "Who doesn't need chaps?!" The answer: No one! That's right, everyone ought to have a pair.


Can't you just smell the leather?

Brought to you by the same woman who took me on a field trip to Camp Dellwood, my buddy and I drove down to Nashville on Tuesday in search of oddities and adventure. My buddy happens to be a biker girl, so she knows the leather shops down there pretty well. I wish I could say that I took some persuading in order to be convinced that we needed matching chaps, but who am I kidding? Leather chaps need no justification. The stupid things just feel cool, no matter how laughable they may look. Fortunately, the woman who outfitted me seemed to understand. As soon as I'd paid she asked encouragingly, "Aren't you going to wear them out of here?" And that's all it took to start me strutting around downtown Nashville with a quarter of a cow strapped to my legs. After a while, I didn't even mind that I was going to be leaving Nashville in a Jeep rather than on a Harley. Such is the power of the rebellious biker girl look. Try it today.